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#10: Lead Yourself First with BG (RET.) Becky Halstead

July 30, 2020

Leading Yourself First with BG (RET.) Becky Halstead and Dr. Eric Bean

During this episode of the Coaching Through Stories podcast, host Eric Bean interviews Becky Halstead, a retired brigadier general who founded her own leadership consultancy company, STEADFAST Leadership. Becky has endured a lot of adversity throughout her life and her career. Learn how Becky overcame that adversity to become a deliberate leader who earned respect beyond her rank through helping others succeed.

Three Key Points:

  1. When you’re a leader helping someone through adversity, align around problem solving.
  2. You can earn respect as a leader through connection and empathy.
  3. Lead others as you would like to be led.

Episode Highlights:

  • Becky speaks about adapting and overcoming during the pandemic.
  • Becky shares the devastating story that after her high school coach died, her light went out.
  • When we’re going through adversity, we don’t always understand the impact it will have on the future.
  • Becky read the recommendation her coach wrote for her when she applied to be in the second group of women admitted to West Point and her light went back on.
  • Her family focused on faith as they hoped for her switch to go back on after the tragedy.
  • You can’t always be the cheerleader and you can’t always be the butt-kicker.
  • When you need to turn your light back on, uncover what’s turning that light switch off and then expose the faulty thinking in how you’re addressing that problem.
  • We all have regrets. Becky works with people and gives them the benefit of the doubt.
  • When Becky looks at people, she tries to remember all the connections behind them.
  • If we would all look at other people and see the host of people behind them, we will remember that how we’re interacting with the person in front of us will affect other people.
  • Becky is extremely deliberate in order to make the best use of every moment.
  • She had a mentor that taught her two think about two jobs out and one promotion up. This helped her look at other jobs and absorb what other people were doing well.
  • You’ll never feel whole or feel peace if you define yourself by external rewards.
  • Humor played a huge role in how Becky approached her male-dominated workplace.
  • What disappoints Becky is when women turn into the men they couldn’t stand.
  • She earned respect with connection and relationships.
  • People respect you when you listen to their ideas and hear their perspective. They will also look for more ways they can be influential.
  • When a three-star general questioned her ability to lead, she first wondered if he was right. She pulled in 4-6 people she trusted in confidence to explore the truth and make a plan.
  • You may never change your critics. All you can do is work to earn their respect.
  • Leading others as she would like to be led is at the heart of Becky’s leadership philosophy.
  • People forget that leadership is about the people you lead, not about the status, the paycheck, and the title.
  • Never forget those you lead.
  • Becky thinks that discipline is the most important trait of a leader.
  • Discipline keeps your attitude positive.
  • Discipline is an internal construct. Start within and keep your word to yourself.
  • Ask if your behaviors are what you’d like your workforce to repeat. Be the example.
  • She chose certain people in her life that would hold her accountable. Sometimes we don’t see ourselves and need feedback.
  • We need to be a calming force while being honest, truthful, and transparent.
  • Have one foot in current operations and one foot in future operations.
  • Her advice to corporate leaders right now is to bring in experts to consider all the possible solutions for helping your team.
  • You can deliver bad news in a calm and transparent way.
  • Becky incorporates her physical, mental, and spiritual health into her self care practice. She uses a personal battle rhythm to keep herself accountable to her personal goals.
  • When she was in the military she used a matrix. She numbered 1-31 and had 12 different things across the top. This matrix kept her centered.
  • Becky recommends her top resources for leaders

Resources Mentioned:

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